Eight Days in France's Valley of Kings

There's a region of France with history that runs very deep. Oh, wait! Sorry, that's all of France.

OK, how about an area along a river that has over 300 lavish châteaux built by kings seeking refuge from whatever ailed them at the time?

Mais oui?

Pour a glass of your favorite beverage that also has a French-sounding name and get ready for a slow ride around the countryside of the Loire Valley.

By royal decree—and presented in majestic picture-n-caption format—it's time to explore ... The Valley of Kings!

Let's begin, shall we?

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All aboard the CHOO-CHOOOOOOOO!

Getting from Paris to Amboise was a snap! Just two hours on a nonstop train ... traveling minus a car got relaxing, very quickly.

Pictured above? No, this was not our smooth ride from Paris. If it was, we'd still be in transit, somewhere in the French countryside and wishing we'd bought more baguettes, cheese, and wine. Rather, it's the tour train passing through Amboise's old town—our home for the next eight days.

But sans car, how will we possibly get around?

Bikes! But not just ANY bikes!

The Loire Valley is known for bike-friendly paths along its rolling countryside. Taking a cue from our less than comfortable ride around France's Lake Annecy a few years ago, we decided to join the 21st century and rent e-bikes.

On the Azores Islands earlier on this trip, my right knee became annoyed with anything resembling physical activity (what a whiner). That hadn't changed, but our e-bikes—with their five power-assist modes—saved the day. A long hill? A steep section? Not to worry! Pop the power up to turbo and my knee was none the wiser.

There's no question that e-bikes were the best option. The cost was comparable to renting a tiny car for the same eight-day duration, but the bikes became part of the adventure, whereas renting a car is rarely a memorable part of any trip unless something goes wrong.*

*Like a flat tire in the Italian Alps, and another on Scotland's Orkney Islands. OH! And being pulled over for not having my fog lights on in Scotland. Hey! It wasn't dark ... yet.

A quaint abode for a summer getaway

They say Rome wasn't built in a day. It turns out that, like many fancy old places in Europe, the Château Royal d'Amboise wasn't either. The rock outcrop above the village was the perfect spot for an 11th century fortress. Fast forward 500 years and Charles VII of France decided it would be a fun place to live, so he took it. It's good to be the king.

Some decades later, Charles VIII decided it needed a refresh ... and the remodeling didn't stop there. But I'm going to because there's only so much construction history anyone can take before eyes glaze over. Feel free to use this Wikipedia article as an efficient, but informative, sleeping aid. 

My favorite story of the chateau? On April 7, 1498, the 27-year-old Charles VIII slammed his head into a low stone door frame while watching a tennis match, fell into a coma hours later, and never woke up. There's no clear explanation of why his head would have had such a violent encounter with a door frame while watching a game of tennis. It must have been quite a match. He really should have gotten a better seat. Apparently, he forgot the thing about how it's good being the king.

FUN FACT: Tennis originated in France in the 12th century as a game called jeu de paume in which the ball was struck with the palm of the hand. The use of rackets started in the 17th century!

Who lives here?

Cute as a button, the Saint-Hubert Chapel sits across from the chateau and is a spectacular sight towering above the village below. No one lives in the tiny chapel, but someone is taking a very long nap there. The official website says, "It is in this setting that you can discover the tomb of Leonardo da Vinci." The word discover might overplay it a bit because, other than fine ornamental stonework, da Vinci's tomb is the only thing in the tiny chapel. It's pretty hard to miss.

He's up from his nap!

Reports of da Vinci's passing in 1519, at the age of 67, were clearly exaggerated, as evidenced by my sighting of the original renaissance man at his residence in Amboise at Château du Clos Lucé. It was such a treat to see him emerging from the château's wine cellar. Assuming what I saw wasn't a life-sized cardboard cutout, the now 574-year-old appeared to be doing just fine 😊.

For most of his life, da Vinci lived in Italy, but in 1516—facing political headwinds and professional pressure from rising stars like Michelangelo and Raphael—he received an offer from King Francis I of France that included a new title, a nice pension, use of the chateau, and freedom to work as he saw fit. And? He took the offer!

When da Vinci moved to Amboise, he brought the Mona Lisa with him. He started painting the masterpiece in 1503 but never considered it complete, making refinements to it until his death. In the beginning, the Mona Lisa was commissioned by Florentine merchant Francesco del Giocondo. In the end, King Francis I decided he would buy it instead. It's good to be the king!

FUN FACT: The Mona Lisa is worth over $1 billion but can't be sold because it belongs to the people of France. The thieves of the 2025 Louvre heist clearly missed the target.

FUN FACT: Some da Vinci paintings—such as the Mona Lisa and the Last Supper—are well known. What isn't as widely known is that there are only 20 paintings—give or take, depending on your source—that are accepted as his work.

Class is in session

Basket Weaving 101 takes on a different meaning at the Amboise Saturday market when this guy's leading the class. I mean, come on! Look at him! It's like Popeye and Superman were melded together to will reeds into baskets!

If you're a younger reader, and don't get the reference to Popeye, you should eat your spinach ... with a bit of Olive Oyl.

If you want to creep yourself out—and you should—take a quick minute to learn the "I'm Popeye the Sailor Man" tune.

You will never forgive me. You're welcome.

It's a market miracle!

Besides on-the-spot basket weaving, the Saturday market featured piles of fresh fruit and vegetables arranged artistically, as only the French can, as well as flea-market-type items like sunglasses, hats, and other oddities. But the market also featured giant pans of bubbling paella, dozens of chickens roasting on rotating spits, and other hot goodies so tempting on a cool, drizzly morning. 

Resistance was useless.

Pictured above, our purchases were:

• A cool, refreshing beer
• A Saucisson Catalan
• Baby potatoes cooked by the drippings of roasting chickens
• Hummus
• Something green and leafy that Natalie ate

We're proud of the healthy choices we made. Well, except maybe the morning beer ... and the chicken-fat-cooked potatoes ... and perhaps the saucisson.

Oh, never mind ... They were all delicious! 

Mon Dieu! The crowds!

To get the hang of our e-bikes, we made a brief ride along the Loire River toward the city of Tours on our first full day. It all went well ... until the rain came, putting a damper on things ... more specifically, us.

Our second outing sent us in the opposite direction on a 30-mile loop with Château de Chenonceau, our destination along the way.

The château is considered a must see ... and we saw it. We also saw the masses of people queuing just to enter the gates and decided we did not need to be a part of the day's crowd.

For us, there are only so many enormous castles filled with antique furniture, tapestries, statues, and paintings of rich royalty that we can take in before our limit is reached. Add in the crowd factor ... and Chenonceau was over the limit before it even started.

Instead, we rode the short distance to the village of Le Fourneau and enjoyed a morning coffee in a quiet cafe courtyard. It was the right choice.

On the other hand

Maybe it was luck, but the day we cycled to Chaumont-sur-Loire, we enjoyed a fascinating château that had no crowds to speak of.

The original structure was built in the 10th century by Odo I, Count of Blois. This is worth mentioning because Odo is such a cool name.

There were other iterations of the château until Pierre d'Amboise made King Louis XI angry, resulting in Pierre losing the property and the King decreeing it should be deconstructed—which it was in 1465—proving once again that it's good to be the king.

BUT THEN, its reconstruction was started by Charles I d'Amboise in the same year (1465) and King Louis XI was still king! Maybe someone (hint: the king) should have thought that one through a bit more?

What makes Chaumont-sur-Loire different for visitors is that it blends the old and the new. Sure, there are plenty of period items to see, but there are also works of modern art displayed inside and throughout the gardens. It was a nice change; maybe we hadn't reached our castle limit after all.

Madame Femme and Chien-chien

Wherever our daily excursions took us, we always ended up at our favorite sidewalk pub—Le Café du Château—situated on the main pedestrian street and just around the corner from our Amboise home. Being creatures of habit, I always enjoyed an IPA; Natalie, a fine white wine; and both of us, a "bol de frites," a.k.a., an order of fries. It was a super fun way to wind down the day, do some people watching, and put off dinner for a while.

It was here that Madame Femme and her dog, Chien-chien befriended us.* I speak tourist-level French, but that didn't stop Madame from talking to us as if we clearly understood her every word. We did not. Still, we somehow had an entire conversation. Simply incroyable! 

It was also at Le Café du Château that we met Rob and Becky Wheal from England one afternoon. Talk of travels and photography led to two beers and two glasses of wine; you do what you have to do.

*If you remember any French from school, you have probably surmised that Madame Femme and Chien-chien are not their real names; we can't recall their names. So translated, they will forever be, "Mrs. Woman and Dog-dog."

So much satisfaction

On our last ride, we landed in the village of Noizay. It was lunchtime on a weekday, but the place was deserted. So strange. We stopped at a plaza where it looked like there was a restaurant ... or maybe a post office? The sign on the door indicated the post was closed. But then a person went in ... so we did too. It was the post office. But was also a restaurant—La Bonne Fanquette.

Once inside, it was clear why Noizay was so quiet: Everyone was in the restaurant's courtyard having lunch!

Traveling by bike slows everything down. That's why Amboise is such a great hub. We could pedal in any direction and be confident of not getting seriously lost ... just relax and enjoy the ride. We always had a general goal, but we could also turn this way or that and do our own thing, like stopping in Noizay.

Did we have any regrets on our biking route choices? Well, yes. We didn't know until too late that we could have stopped by Mick Jagger's petite bungalow, Château de Fourchette. From Amboise, we were literally a 20-minute bike ride from enjoying spontaneous afternoon hors d'œuvres and drinks on the terrace with Mick. Oh well ... his loss, but maybe next time.

Travel has its ups and downs, and sometimes you have to accept ... you can't get no ... satisfaction.
 

You can hear it, can't you?

Near the end of our time in Amboise, during a photo walkabout on a drizzly evening, I came upon this guy playing to an audience of one—me. Yet he was still performing. That's the sign of a true professional.

Here's the thing: Today, we travel with very little cash because credit card use is so ubiquitous. Alas, though he put on a show, I could only give appreciation with a nod and a smile.

Next time, I'll have a bit of cash ready to share when a spontaneous performance pops up.

That time of night

Amboise isn't big (13,000 people call it home) and that was fine with us. In the heart of the old town, where we stayed, everything calms down when the day trippers fade away, the shops close, and the restaurants button it up. You have the place to yourself ... and that's the best time to take a walk and listen to the growing silence.

Somewhere along the road from Amboise

It was nice to be in the heart of Amboise ... our home for a few days. Could we have stayed longer? Yes. There were so many paths we didn't wander. But after 33 days on a trip that included the Azores Islands and Paris, it was time to jump back across the pond.

Hey! It's good to be the king or queen of your adventure because that's how you do ... get some satisfaction.

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And now, a DOUBLE-DOWN ROYAL DECREE ...

PICTURES! ... carefully curated with you in mind.

Strutting his stuff at Clos de Lucé. Da Vinci would be proud!

The blog post tells just one part of the story ... the photo album fills in the rest. And hey! Each photo includes a brief caption, so you know what you're looking at.

Here you go ... Loire Valley Images!

Enjoy!

Ciao! ~ Todd

For optimal photo viewing:

• When the album displays, click the Play slideshow icon in the upper right corner.
• When the slideshow begins to play, click the Pause slideshow icon at the lower center.
• Now you can advance the slideshow at your own pace using the right or left arrows at the bottom center of the screen.

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Like the TourAlongWithTodd blog and want to keep up to date?

Send me an email at todd@toddchavez.com and I’ll add you to the list!

Ah ... April in Paris

The scent of freshly baked croissants gently accents the morning's fresh air while songbirds announce the dawn of a new day. At night, in this city of light, young couples stroll hand in hand past cozy cafés, the sound of a distant accordion drips and echoes through the narrow cobblestone streets.

Ah ... April in Paris.

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Well, maybe that's a bit dreamy, but let's go with it anyway!

Grab your best bottle of French bubbly, pop the cork, and get ready for an intimate journey. Presented in the always engaging picture-n-caption format ...

It's time to visit Paris!

Relax in your chaise lounge and raise your glass to Paris! The City of Luuuuuv!

Let's begin, shall we?

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Paris is very statue-y, fountain-y, and garden-y!

Exact numbers are hard to come by, but Paris is home to ~1,500 statues, ~1,300 fountains, and ~ 500 gardens/parks. That's a lot of green space with water splashing on sculptures!

Above, La Fontaine de l'Observatoire is one such installation. At the top, four women—representing Europe, Africa, Asia, and America—hold up the world because Atlas apparently got tired. Of note, the African woman's ankle is shackled, but the chain attached is broken; a reminder of the (then) recent abolition of slavery. The eight seahorses below the women are being completely drenched by what can only be described as projectile vomiting courtesy of eight turtles.

It seems like it's tough to a member of this statue. Still, it's super cool.

Biking with our hosts

How could we resist a trip to Paris when an invitation from longtime friend, John Morgan, and his wife, Claire Beckman, was on the table? With a family apartment available, just blocks from the Seine, a week in Paris was a no-brainer. More importantly, we had time for a long awaited catch-up.

John and I go way back to our early teens. Our gang (you know who you are) managed to get through the Moscow, Idaho, school system and the University of Idaho without getting caught. That's all I'm going to say. I now invoke the 5th Amendment rights afforded to me by the Constitution of the United States of America.

Seriously, we had a good time back then, and we did here too! Above, the intrepid urban explorers pose for a photo while crossing the Seine during our Fat Tire Bike Secrets of Paris tour. The tour was a blast and, led by a very knowledgeable guide, we did see some off-the-beaten path sights.

The next day Natalie and I rented bikes for our own Paris biking tour, and that's when we learned that having a guide to follow on the busy city streets is a real bonus. Navigating which street bike path goes where and in what direction on our own was a bit tricky at times; we survived.
 

Oopsies!

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you're in a public place and you forgot to wear any clothes? And you're frozen in place?

Well, that's what this gal endures every day at Le Petit Palais.

Le Petit Palais is, appropriately, located next to Le Grand Palais and was built as a temporary exhibition space for the 1900 Universal Exposition. Soon after, it became the city's museum of fine arts.

Unlike the bigger museums of Paris, Le Petit Palais is a fun stop. There's no entrance fee, it's not crazy crowded, and it's small enough to see in a couple of hours, thereby avoiding rubbery legs. Being fully dressed is mandatory, however, so claiming you just woke up from a nightmare and found yourself naked in the middle of the museum probably won't pass muster.
 

Paris is museum-y too!

The king of Paris' 130+ museums is, of course, Le Louvre. This massive complex has a long history—beginning in the 12th century—that I'm going to skip for your reading pleasure. Each year nine million tourists wander through its massive halls for hours until their legs turn into rubbery appendages ... and then they realize they saw a fraction of the artwork.

Having experienced rubbery Louvre legs ourselves in 2014, we elected to bypass reliving the sensation (and save the $32 per person entrance fee). Still, we took time to walk through the ginormous plazas to say "hi" to fellow tourists. As the world's most visited destination city, Paris plays host to ~50 million out-of-towners each year and, as you can see, many of them converged at the Louvre on this fine April afternoon.

Ha! Ha!

I take pictures of other people as they take selfies, ussies, and poser shots for their Instagram and TikTok feeds. The image above, at the Louvre, features a young woman who posed for many shots in order to get an Instagram keeper; it must be exhausting. But I had the last laugh as I caught the unassuming girl running right across their shot.

Be sure to see the Paris photo album linked here and at the end of this post where I've included other funny—and even alluring—poser shots.

Calm before the storm

Not that long ago, you could be fairly certain to dodge big crowds by visiting Europe during the spring or fall shoulder seasons. Sadly, it seems those days are mostly gone—at least in places like Paris. The city center was awash with mobs of tourists, and the most popular attractions regularly had lines at entrances.

But there's at least one way to see the city in a different light: Get up early and have a walkabout!

As some of you may know, my picture does not appear next to the definition of early bird in the dictionary. But I was the early bird at least one day, and it paid off. Streets and sidewalks were nearly vacant of cars or people. Cafés were busy preparing for the day, and places that are normally overrun—like the Louvre—had just a handful of fellow early birds who were also taking pictures of the calm before the storm. In fact, when I strolled through the smaller of the two Louvre courtyards, I was the only person there. Truly remarkable.

Above, the view along the Pont (bridge) du Carrousel looks toward one of the Louvre's main entrances. There just wasn't much going on at 7:30 in the morning. As I crossed the bridge, I noticed that the River Seine was also calm; there wasn't a single boat in motion.

The one thing you will find open are the bakeries. And ooh la la! (That's French for OMG!), Parisian bakeries are as good as everyone says they are.

At early morning, museums won't be open, and river boat rides won't be operating. But if you ask me, that's the time to see Paris ... and to enjoy a warm, fresh croissant along the way.
  

A poster too far?

You can't avoid the bouquinistes (booksellers) of Paris along the banks of the Seine. Working out of their iconic green stands, sellers have sold books here since the 16th century! Most of the novels and romantasy books from that era have been well picked over, but one never knows when a first edition Gutenberg might pop up!

Then again, you might run into a more contemporary find. Above, there are Beatles and Daft Punk concert posters for sale. Both are theoretically authentic. But there's also an undeniable find—the Taylor Swift Swifties Jesus Christ poster. And nope! I did NOT make that title up.

I don't know what I was thinking: I took the photo but didn't buy it! Silly me. Thankfully, all is not lost. I'll soon have a print of this fine art ... and you can too! Just go to ArtPal and get your copy today!

Café culture and "steak frites"

The café culture is alive and well in Paris. Cafés tend to serve the same assortment of food and drinks, and in the heart of the city, they're everywhere. This means you can find a favorite café and enjoy, knowing you're probably not missing out; you can relax.

Selecting a restaurant can be quite another thing. Every ethnicity under the sun is available. What to do? Well, you can take a chance (because it's probably good), or ... you can have a very authentic French dinner of steak frites—or steak and fries—at one of three Relais de l'Entrecôte locations in the city.

Relais de l'Entrecôte makes dining easy: The only decision you have to make is how you'd like your steak: rare or medium.* Within minutes, a fresh green salad (dressed with walnuts and a mustard vinaigrette) and baguette slices are delivered to get you started.

After that, a small portion of steak arrives (cooked to perfection, sliced, and generously dressed in an herb pepper sauce) along with a large portion of hot french fries. So good! It's easy to finish the plate.

And THEN your waitperson comes back with the second half of your portion of steak and fries! It's genius ... Your steak and fries are always hot.

Relais de l'Entrecôte is popular. We arrived at 6:00 and waited in line for their 6:30 opening. But the wait was just fine because we met fellow travelers Loyd and Anita Bondoc and ended up having dinner together sitting at side-by-side outdoor tables.

Find your comfort café but make sure to go to Relais. You'll love the steak frites ... and you just might meet some fun people!

*You do make other choices at Relais, like what you want to drink and have for dessert, if any. We added two beverages, coffee, and shared a dessert. The cost? $80 for two, and no tipping! The same quality food and service at the price is tough to match on this side of the pond.

Arrrgh matey! We be the creepy pirate clowns!

On the Right Bank of the Seine, running aside the Jardin de Tuileries is the Tuileries Tunnel, an 800-meter-long biking/pedestrian-only tunnel. Inside, the tunnel's walls are lined with amazing street art, such as that depicted above.

Here, the creepy pirate clowns threaten to come to life, jumping from their home on the wall to chase unsuspecting pedestrians to the tunnel's end. Then they return and lie in wait for their next victim.

It may not be the Louvre with the Mona Lisa, but if you go to Paris, the Tuileries Tunnel is a pretty cool "must see." Besides, if it's a hot day or rainy day, the tunnel is a nice respite ... well, until you come upon the creepy pirate clowns. Then you'd better RUUUUN!

The bored family

The stone carvings adorning so many buildings of Paris can be lost in plain sight. From gargoyles to grotesques, pedimental sculptures to friezes ... and don't forget the chimeras ... a lot of the best artwork is on the outside of whatever historic building you're in, just waiting to be seen.

Sometimes the stonework scenes are creepy. Wait! No, actually, they're often creepy, featuring demons, odd humans, and frightening monkeys, but other times they're kind of funny.

Pictured here is a family alongside the steps leading into Le Petit Palais. Wow! They exude excitement. Maybe they weren't carved from stone. Rather, maybe they turned to stone through the sheer boredom during another ancient Greek holiday to an average Mediterranean island awash in sunshine. 

Guess what this is?

Is it my hand holding funky marshmallows on sticks? No, it's not. It's actually the 41-foot-tall Bouquet of Tulips metal sculpture by American pop artist Jeff Koons, commissioned to create a work to honor the 130 victims of the 2015 Paris attacks. It's an amazing work; the detail of the skin is remarkably lifelike.

The tulips? OK ... maybe? But my-oh-my, based on some of the critiques I found online, opinions run deep ... really deep. This BBC article from 2019 paints the picture of Paris' relationship with new art pretty well: Is Bouquet of Tulips the year’s most controversial artwork? The article opens with "Years before it first dominated the Paris skyline in 1889, the Eiffel Tower was described as “a hole-riddled suppository” and “a truly tragic street lamp” by prominent French intellectuals."

Ouch! I think some intellectuals missed their morning café and croissant.

Oh well, I liked Bouquet of Tulips. But if it were up to me, I'd use real giant marshmallows that disintegrate into a sweet sticky mess every time it rains. Paris intellects would luuuuuv me and my art.

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And there you have it!

There's no doubt that Paris is a big city. Honestly, it was smelly at times, and definitely overrun with tourists, but we had a blast all the same. Thanks so much to John and Claire for hosting us ... it was a real treat!

This trip's final chapter is coming soon: Biking in France's Loire Valley!

Until then ... Ciao!

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BUT WAIT!  ... The photo album!

The blog tells one part of the story ... the photo album fills in the rest. They go together ... like young Parisien couples strolling hand in hand past cozy cafés. You'll luuuuuv it! ... even when you're running for your life from the creepy pirate clowns!

Seriously, the photo album shows so much more.

Here's how to view it:

1. Click this link to access the album.
2. When the album displays, click the Play slideshow icon in the upper right corner.
3. As soon as the slideshow begins to play, click the Pause slideshow icon at the lower center.
4. Now you can advance the slideshow at your own pace using the right or left arrows at the bottom center of the screen.

Enjoy!

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Like the TourAlongWithTodd blog and want to keep up to date?

Email me at todd@toddchavez.com and I’ll add you to the list!

An Astonishing Azorean Adventure!

We like islands.

We like their smaller sizes, unique cultures and, oddly enough, the quirky weather. So, it's not a big surprise that an archipelago in the Atlantic would bubble up to the top of our list.

Welcome to the Azores ... islands oozing with Portuguese magic!

So pour yourself a big glass of fun, find a shady spot to sit back and relax, and come along on a trip to green volcanic islands—presented in easy-to-read picture-n-caption format!

Don't forget to click the link to the photo album at the end!

Let's begin, shall we?

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An Azorean horse, of course!

I didn't want to lead off with a geologic diagram of São Miguel Island because that's kind of dry, so let's go with a horse!

This gal was laying in her pasture on a sunny afternoon, minding her own business, when I stopped to shoot her (with my camera). No sooner had I gotten out of the car than she slowly stood up and casually walked toward me. I think she'd done horse modeling before.

Alas, I had no apple to share with her. Next time, I promise.

And now ... a little background

The nine islands of the Azores are really out there—900 miles from mainland Portugal and 1,220 miles from Newfoundland, Canada—sitting atop the mid-Atlantic ridge where the North American, Eurasian, and African tectonic plates converge. And they didn't appear instantaneously. The diagram shows that the largest of the islands—São Miguel—was formed during six periods of volcanic activity ranging from 4.2 million to 50 thousand years ago. That's a pretty big spread.

In more recent history, the islands were visited by Norse/northern European seafarers but weren't permanently inhabited until the Portuguese settled here in the 1500s. Today, 240,000 people call the Azores home, but outward migration and an aging population have slowed growth. In fact, there's a sizeable expat population living in North America.

Of course, tectonic and volcanic events continue to this day. If you live here, a little "shake & bake" is part of the deal. 

Size is relative

São Miguel Island is about 40 miles long and 10 miles wide. The view above shows one-half of the island stretching west into the distance with the capital, Ponta Delgada, on the left, and Ribeira Grande on the right. The two are situated at the thin waist of the island, so are just about 5 miles apart.

Don't let the seemingly diminutive size give you the idea that getting around the island is a snap. It's not! While there a few "fast" roads, most are narrow two-lane affairs that twist and wind, up and down, all over the place! Still, it's actually fun to drive here ... albeit that the Azorean behind you, who knows the road much better, will drive right up your exhaust pipe ... and then some.

FUN FACT: São Miguel Island is home to 140,000 of the archipelago's entire population of 240,000.

The best pineapples in the world?

The islands are lush, green, often damp, but not tropical; they experience significant seasonal weather fluctuations. Nevertheless, after the collapse of orange plantations in the 1860s, pineapples from South America were imported as a new crop. It's not warm enough to grow them outside, so they're grown in greenhouses across the island, and the effort has paid off. Some claim they are the best pineapples in the world.*

We didn't have much to compare them to, but the fresh pineapple fruit, pineapple sherbert, and pineapple liquor we sampled at the Augusto Arruda Pineapple Plantation were excellent!

A fine, balanced meal, good for the entire family. 

*Azores’ claim of ‘world’s best pineapples’ not bragging - The Charlotte News

Speaking of STEW!

Nothing could be more Azorean than the Cozido das Furnas. This hearty stew is a concoction of beef, pork, chicken, chorizo, blood sausage, sweet potatoes, taro root, and cabbage—all layered in large pots and then cooked in steaming, malodorous volcanic soil.

Hours later, local restaurants retrieve their pots in time for dinner service. We stopped at Tony's restaurant in Furnas late one afternoon and were lucky enough to be served this meatalicious dish early.

We ordered one serving ... and it was HUGE! The image above doesn't do justice to the size of the plate. We tried to empty the plate; we came close.

To see the stew's creation in action, view this Anthony Bourdain clip, beginning at the five-minute mark:    

Geothermal Cooking in the Azores | Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations

Wanna make it yourself? See Cozido das Furnas: History, Recipe and Where to Eat. Of course, to be completely authentic, you'll have to dig a hole in the ground until you hit scalding hot jets of geothermal steam. That part could be tricky.
 

My girls!

There's no question that cattle dominate the landscape; they're scattered here, there, and everywhere. From what we saw, they enjoy a pretty nice life munching on nature's green salad. In return, the cows produce milk ... a LOT of milk. In fact, the nine islands account for 30% of Portugal's production. Above, four cows took great interest in me or my camera ... I'm pretty sure it was me. I have that effect on cows.

And then there's CHEESE!

With so much milk production, it's no surprise that cheese is a thing on the Azores. According to Portuguese Cheese Down Under, half of all Portuguese cheese comes from the Azores.

Natalie and I stopped at the Arco da Velha restaurant in São Miguel for a late afternoon libation and snack. Rodrigo, our host at the restaurant, insisted we try something authentic to the islands. How about CHEESE!

Our cheese plate was made up of samples from five of the islands (though all nine make their own cheeses), as well as different breads and jams. Rodrigo explained what bread/jam paired best with which cheese. Natalie was able to keep up, but I was soon confused, so I went rogue and made random combinations. Later, and in a cheese coma, we thanked Rodrigo and waddled back to the car.

OH!, which cheese won our taste test? Without doubt, the cheese from São Jorge. 

Sometimes you drive, sometimes you hike

The Azores are the tops of volcanos sticking out of the Atlantic. This means they typically have very steep slopes, but every now and then, there are flat spots—called fajãs—where lava flowed into the sea. Flat spots make good places to build villages. Sometimes you can drive to them, but other times hiking is the only option.

Pictured above, a very steep (but paved) road took us to Fajã dos Cubres where we enjoyed a lunch of rabbit and a walkabout. The poor bunny was delicious!

Ah ... this reminds me of the classic childhood song, Here Comes Peter Cottontail.

Sing it with me now ...

"Here comes Peter Cottontail
 Hopping down the bunny trail
 Hippity-hoppity, landing on my PLATE!"

Tastes like chicken!

Ah! That's better

The hike to Rocha da Relva was simple enough. Hike 1,200 feet down a narrow, paved path to reach the stretched-out village and hike back up.

Established in the 15th century, Rocha da Relva is known for its unique microclimate perfect for vineyards and other small-farm crops. Today, about 50 small homes are dotted along the trail.

How did they transport building materials to do any of this?

Azorean Donkeys!

FUN FACT: Rocha da Relva also served as a refuge to escape the plague!

NOT SO FUN FACT: Azorean donkeys were brought to the islands by the Portuguese and became an endemic breed—Burro da Ilha Graciosa. They once numbered 8,000 but today are slowly recovering from a decimated population of just 26 in 2001.

The reward!

There's a pot-o-gold at the end of every rainbow ... or a waterfall at the end of every trail. In this case, it's the Salto do Prego waterfall at the southeastern corner of São Miguel. The hike featured steep sections, areas of tall bamboo, and hordes of very colorful free-roaming chickens. Not a bad day's excursion.

We took a loop trail back, and that's when things got interesting ... in a good way.
 

Quick! Somebody call Century 21!

Halfway down the loop trail, we came to the lost village of Sanguinho.

Established in the early 20th century as a small farming community, Sanguinho's population reached 200 at its peak, but by the 1970s, the wave of emigration to the U.S. and Canada drained the village of its inhabitants ... and nature began the reclamation process.

Today, Sanguinho is slowly being repopulated with an emphasis on eco-tourism, so if you're looking for an opportunity to open an eco Airbnb on the Azores, there are some deals here. Go ahead, call Century 21 to find out how you can get in on this real estate bonanza!

Guess who's from England?

When we first arrived at the lost village of Sanguinho, we saw nothing but real estate opportunities. But then we saw a few people. And then we saw the Bar Loj snack hut ... and it was open and doing brisk business. Like all other smart hikers on the trail that afternoon, we thought an adult beverage and salty snack was a very good idea.

The snack hut was so unexpected.

Also unexpected was Marco, the snack hut's proprietor. Marco is a Portuguese name, but this Marco was definitely British ... given away by his accent, teeth, and "Keith Richards" style of dress.  

The road down

The loop trail back to our starting point at Faial da Terra had other steep sections, like the section here. This is the "road" to the lost village of Sanguinho. We did not want to be on those pavers in rain. And we would never want to be Azorean donkeys hauling supplies up it!

Looks can be deceiving

It seems like a nice enough day. Fog up high? No worries. Partly sunny down low? Yes. It seemed like a perfect day for a hike around the Caldeira do Alferes.

After multiple visits to Atlantic and North Sea islands, we should have known to anticipate things like wind and rain. Though this image portrays a pastoral scene from afar, have a look at this brief video shot at the same time.

We were happy with our decision to not take that hike. And then a mother-daughter team from Belgium came into view, hiking the caldera's trail in the wind and fog. OMG! Are we wimps now?
 

A much better view when it's not in the clouds

Two days later, the weather at Caldeira do Alferes looked a lot more like the plethora of similar images on Instagram. Finally, I could get my photo of the same scene. It's pretty cool though: Caldera lakes and the ocean in the background.

Determined to discredit any evidence of being wimps, we took on three short hikes in the Sete Cidades Volcanic Complex (above) and crushed them! But by the end of the day, my right knee decided it didn't want to play this game anymore. While it had been a wuss off and on for months, the knee was now in full protest mode. For the rest of the trip, it gave me daily reminders of how much humans need knees.

Stupid knee party pooper!

Read THESE tea leaves!

Gorreana Tea Plantation is Europe's oldest tea growing and production facility. After 140 years, tea harvesting in the fields is mechanized, but the indoor processing part is still very old school, complete with people hand selecting leaves from piles on tables. Seriously—selecting tea leaves by hand ... 33 TONS a year ... BY HAND! You can see them in action here!

STOP STALKING US!

The main attraction at Gorreana Tea Plantation is hiking the three miles through the thousands of rows of carefully trimmed tea plants.

Above, Natalie poses with Lauren and Ingrid. Lauren and Ingrid are the daughter-mother team from Belgium whom we first met two days earlier as they shamed us by hiking in big wind and fog at the caldera. The very next day, we ran into them again at a waterfall where they were hiking (in the rain of course) whereas we took the dryer shortcut using a car ... and then this day at the tea plantation.

They seemed nice enough, but I'm pretty sure they were stalking us.

Beware the Belgians!

Picture perfect in Velas

Velas is the largest town on São Jorge Island, the second Azorean island we visited. The town isn't big, and in April, it's not busy either ... and that was just fine with us. Later in the season, when the summer kicks in, Velas is the main port for ferries coming from other islands.

Curb appeal?

After arriving at São Jorge, the first piece of business was to get to a grocery store to stock our villa. The Interweb's map told us there was such a place not too far away. We arrived ... but did we? We did! But Bom Dia was an odd grocery store outside and in. Nevertheless, it had the basics for a spaghetti dinner.

A few days later we stopped at a much newer store in Velas, and even its exterior had a weird industrial drabby vibe.

Looking for work on a remote island? I hear there's an opening for an architectural exterior designer on São Jorge. No experience needed!

Stone walls

It wasn't so much of a choice as it was a need: Portuguese settlers needed to clear rock-covered islands to create fields to plant crops to eat. I suppose they could have asked their poor donkeys to haul the stones off to the sea and dump them there, but after a few trips, the smarter donkeys would have just continued walking into the sea to put an end to their misery.

The second option—to stack the rock into walls—was the winning solution. These rock walls continue to be used today as a means to keep animals in place and to grow crops in microclimates protecting them from wind and cold, and sometimes sea salt mists.

Rock walls are still built with amazing results, but the traditional art of mortarless wall building is fading. Today, mortar is used to help keep them upright ... a nice feature to have when the earth starts shaking. 

If you'd like a side trip to learn more about these walls, see Basalt Stone Walls of the Azores - Azores Almanac.

Not my photo (but I wish it was)!

No, it's not my photo, but I needed an image for the story. The photo credit goes to Sos Cagarro – save the Cory’s Shearwaters! | Guide to The Azores).

Cory's shearwaters are fine ocean birds, and I encourage you to visit the website. It has great information and also has a brief recording (below) of their very creepy and disturbing call—which you should listen to before proceeding.

Reader participation required!

1. Turn up your speaker's volume.
2. Click HERE.
3. On the page that appears, click the play button triangle.

Now, imagine you're standing outside, in the dark, and those sounds are swirling around your head, in frightening Dolby surround sound. That was our experience.

I'm not sure about you, but I think the Cory's shearwaters' song is the perfect addition to any horror scene. You know, like when a freaky clown is chasing you down a dark hallway? And he's getting closer ... and closer? And everything suddenly goes black! And then there's a scream and ...

Sweet dreams!

Coffee? 

Airlines have done a remarkable job of charging extra for almost everything, and here's a prime example. Our TAP Air Portugal flight back to Lisbon offered complimentary water (gosh, thanks), but coffee was on my mind. The cost? €4.00 (about $5.00). What the heck, let's go for it! The flight attendant swiped my card and then poured hot water into a paper cup, opened a packet of instant coffee, poured it into the water, and stirred. And that was my coffee. My vile, vile coffee.

With a considerable twinge of irony, I noticed an article in the in-flight magazine highlighting the CEO of the company that supplies TAPs coffee, complete with a snappy picture of him holding a steaming cup of their product.

I wonder if he's ever had the packet version. I'm guessing not. But when he does, he's in for a treat. A vile, vile treat.

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And there you have it!

We got a good start to exploring the Azores—they really are astonishing. But my wanderlust kicks in when I think of the seven islands we didn't see. Maybe someday?

But this trip isn't over ...

Coming to you real soon: Paris and the Loire Valley!

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And now, a SPECIAL BONUS ...

PICTURES! ... carefully curated with you in mind.

The blog post tells just one part of the story ... the photo album fills in the rest. They go hand in hand ... like the disturbing song of Cory's shearwaters and creepy clowns chasing you!

Seriously, the photo album shows so much more.

Each photo includes a brief caption, so you know what you're looking at.

Here's how to make the most of viewing the photo album:

1. Click this link to access the album.
2. When the album displays, click the Play slideshow icon in the upper right corner.
3. As soon as the slideshow begins to play, click the Pause slideshow icon at the lower center.
4. Now you can advance the slideshow at your own pace using the right or left arrows at the bottom center of the screen.

Enjoy!

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