WHY IS THIS EVEN HERE?!!

Have you ever discovered something so odd, so bizarre, that when you do, a giant globule of gobsmack slaps you straight in the face and shouts, "Wake up! Where have you been all this time!!!?"

Welcome to Cleo's Ferry Museum and Nature Trail!

Located on the north bank of the Snake River, near Melba, Idaho, and just one hour by car from my doorstep, Cleo's hid in plain sight!

A leisurely stroll along the trail's one-mile loop inevitably elicits phrases such as...
  • "OMG!, look at THAT!"
  • "NONE of this makes sense!"
  • "WHY IS THIS EVEN HERE?!!"

At every curve and corner, the wonders of Cleo's just keep coming. And at times it can be a wee-bit creepy, but it always entertains, and I love it!



Grab your stilts and get ready to explore Cleo's Ferry Museum and Nature Trail!



Before launching into the slide show glimpsing Cleo's world, let's get educated via bullet points! Shall we?...


  • The Swayne family came to America as Quakers... as far back as 1709!
  • Our focus on their family tree begins with Samuel Swayne's birth in 1887.
  • Sam became an M.D., was a WWI surgeon, moved to Idaho in 1920, and purchased Walter's Ferry in 1927. Way to go, Sam!
  • Sam married Bertha along the way and together they had four daughters.
  • Bertha passed away at the age of 40. Sam, in turn, married Cleo Ruth (Speicher) Heuck. Her second marriage, and she came with kids as well.
  • Sam and Cleo built most of the buildings on the site and, following Sam's death in 1976, Cleo continued to work on the buildings and the nature trail.
  • Today, the family trust keeps this crazy place going!

There you have it. Two kiosk panels crammed with detail condensed into seven bullet points! Mission accomplished! Besides, when it comes to Cleo's, pictures are worth thousands AND thousands of words!

And so, via the assist of the familiar picture-n-caption format, let's begin... shall we?




Cleo's features dozens, if not hundreds, of bird houses lining the trail, each featuring religious-leaning words of wisdom. It's not crazy religion. It's common sense gospel, like the one here. Did you know this about faith and a small mustard seed? You're welcome.



OK, that makes perfect sense... I'm good with that.



Well... they did have children!



Cleo Ruth (Speicher) Swayne (1913-2008). The matriarch of all that comprises the compound, Cleo and husband Sam created the site's campus and nature trail. Her family continues the effort today. You gotta admit, Cleo rocks those 70s era glasses, right?



The first thing you notice upon arrival at Cleo's, well, other than deer roaming around and the churchy birdhouses, are the many garden figurines. By day they're kind of cute. But by night... they come alive and CHASE YOU!!



"Hey Mister! Can I wash your car? I've got a metal hose that comes out of nowhere and never has water in it, but I'll wash your car! C'mon, Mister!"



"Hmmm... where can I pour my imaginary water? How about on THIS weed HERE. No! Wait! How about on THAT weed OVER THERE! Oh, I can't reach it... I'm a tiny statue that can't move!"



Little did anyone know before now, but Cleo's features a diorama depicting Natalie and me on our first date. Oh how I impressed her with my vast knowledge of the world; unbridled authority reciting fact. She was smitten. Nothing has changed. And that's also a fact.



Well wadaya know?! It's Snow White and the Seven Dwarves... and maybe Bambi? Halfway along the trail, the tone shifts from pious to other fantastical themes.



Not far past Snow White and her entourage, the trail opens onto a field where dozens of life-size bronze sculptures depict kids in various states of play. Here, a girl's flung into the sky on a swing with very short ropes. It's all fun and games until someone reaches the vertex of the parabola... and someone's eye ends up being put out...






Batter up! This softball game has been frozen in time for ages. Another scene of bronze features a small marching band. Really! A marching band! 

What else could there be?



How about Benjamin Franklin, Mark Twain, William Shakespeare, Albert Einstein, and Abe Lincoln chillaxing in the sun?! Go ahead! Take a load off and sit with your fave man-on-a-bench. Many bronze works at Cleo's were sculpted by artist Gary Lee Price. Gary's work can be seen throughout America and beyond.



Yes, that's a life-size fiberglass elephant! There are also giraffes, a rhino, a lion, an ostrich, and, for some reason, a moose! There's a moose on the loose! Oh my! 

But wait... There's more!



Hmmm.... Do you think this friendly being knows anything about our current leader? I don't know about you, but I think if he did, he'd shut that door pronto and launch right back into space! Wait a minute! Maybe I could go with him? Yes! I'm willing to take my chances.



Bring on the creepy naked devil babies! 

Are you still with me?

Yes, we're still at Cleo's!

Like their figurine brethren, these babies come alive at night and can run SUPER FAST! Try as you might, you'll never outrun creepy naked devil babies. The faster you try to run, the slower you go... as your legs... get heavier... and heavier.... and the babies get closer... and closer... and closer.. and...


The fun doesn't end at the outhouse door! Nope! This guy does his best to look the other way, but when it comes right down to it, his job stinks. Still, the outhouse is well kept and well stocked! Oddly enough, two can use this can at the same time... sitting side-by-side in an absolutely not private way (picture not included).






After the whirlwind kitsch of the nature trail, the compound of buildings strike a different tone, such as the Medical Museum. Though small, this museum is well curated. Just another odd twist in this mini adventure!



Iron lung anyone? Invented in the 1927, polio sufferers often had to spend up to two weeks in the device to make them breathe when their chest muscles were unable to do the work. Though I may make light of Cleo's, the Medical Museum reminds me of the serious side of the Swayne's work before there were bird houses and funny figurines.



I've blocked most memories of my time attending Sunday school, but I'm pretty sure there wasn't a peacock wandering through the stable at the EXACT moment of Jesus' birth. Then again, take a look at the size of the baby Jesus. HE IS HUGE! WOW! Immaculate conception? How about immaculate birth!




Register your visit at the parking lot and get up-to-date information. And note that four books penned by Cleo are available for purchase at the store: The Little Chapel by the River, Come Walk With Me, Pappy the Doctor, and Footsteps Around my Doorstep. I'm good with the first three, but Footsteps Around my Doorstep freaks me out. Why? Because those little footsteps belong to zombie garden figurines and creepy naked devil babies that have come to life in the dead of night and are right behind me!


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There's just WAY TOO MUCH at Cleo's to deliver in one TourAlongWithTodd Blog post. What didn't I mention? Well, how about the many other sculptures, the three chapels, the Swayne family cemetery, the clock museum, the adobe hotel built in 1861, the albino peacocks, the giant rainbow arch on the hill, and OH!, in December it's all lit with Christmas lights! I'll be going back for that!

Do yourself a favor: Map out 1984 Hwy 45 S Melba, ID 83641 and take a drive to make your own discoveries at Cleo's Ferry Museum and Nature Trail.

Cleo's is open all year long (with special summer hours for museums and winter hours for Christmas lights), but you have to leave your dog at home!

And when you visit, drop $10 or $20 in the donation box. Cleo's Ferry Museum and Nature Trail is worth having here for a very, very long time. It's THAT good...  even with zombie garden figurines and creepy naked devil babies haunting your dreams! 

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Unexpected Discoveries, a Staycation, and ANOTHER Musical!


Saddle up... one more time!

Grab your favorite beverage and blanket, and settle into a comfy chair as we visit an oddly cool museum, stumble upon a rich man's banana stand, take a staycation, and drum for another musical!

Come along for 2018's final installment of TourAlongWithTodd!

Mon Dieu!


Let’s begin, shall we?

Aunt Mary and Uncle Frank have welcomed us to their cabin on Flathead Lake's Finley Point in NW Montana for years. On US 93, as you near the lakeside community of Polson, signs appear promoting the Miracle of America Museum.

The what? The Miracle of America Museum?

We’d driven past MoAM many times but had never taken the plunge. This year we changed that...

Are you ready for MoAM?...  I know I AM!





Nothing says "hello" more than a Native American placard, as demonstrated at MoAM's entrance. Though political correctness isn't always on display at the museum, it's still an amazing place to visit. Cost of entry? A cool $6.00. Now that's something to send smoke signals about!





       MoAM's displays cover just about everything...

  • An actual Corsair A-7D Vietnam era attack bomber? Boom! It's there!
  • Maybe a collection of spark plugs? Zap! They're there!
  • A display devoted to the downside of drinking and driving? Smashing!
  • Multiple displays promoting capitalism and the American way? Cha-ching!
  • And then there's gun rights... Yes indeed, MoAM's all over that too!

    It turns out
    that 
    Hitler's ban on guns, contrary to what the poster above suggests, didn't apply to all Germans... just Jewish Germans.

    Oops!






Ha! Ha! Nothing's more fun than joking about North Korea and the prospects of an actual nuclear war. That's hilarious! Don't ya think?






This would be a terrible way to die. It would be an even more terrible way to curl your hair! Hang in there, Annie!






Models of flying saucers and aliens? Why not! Note that the saucer on the right has a Montana license plate, proof that aliens are here and it's a huge cover up! Are ALL Montanans aliens? Can you prove they're not? Backing up my theory, MoAM also has an Area 51 display complete with an undeniably authentic replica of an alien on a dissection table!






No museum representing the miracle of anything would be complete without freakishly disturbing mannequin doll-like things! According to legend, these gross marionettes come to life at night... and play creepy games with the Area 51 aliens.


There's no end to the oddities of America's past at MoAM.

Atlas Obscura describes MoAM as the "Smithsonian of the West." In a way? I think they're right. The sheer volume, depth, and breadth of topics and items is breathtaking... It's an incredible adventure you won't regret.

Next time you're on US 93 near Polson, build in at least two hours and pay the six bucks. Come on! It's the Miracle of America Museum!



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There's Money in the Banana Stand!

Late August is a perfect time to visit Seattle, especially if (a) your son lives there and (b) there's a Metric and Smashing Pumpkins rock concert to attend. Before the big show, we had time for a city center walkabout.

It's fun wandering into things, like the campus of similar-looking office towers we found. At their center was a slug-like geodesic dome structure. How cool!

Upon entering the slug, I asked the official-looking nice young man, "Where are we?" He replied, "Welcome to Amazon's SpheresSpheres is a place where Amazon employees can meet in a warm, welcoming environment to blah, blah, blah..."

My eye had caught something much more exciting happening outside. There were people, dressed in yellow t-shirts, giving something awaysomething clearly deliciousto hundreds of eager eaters.

We had stumbled upon National Banana Split Day! We are truly blessed to live in a country where a different food is celebrated every day of the year! And what luck was ours because National Banana Split Day is, hands down, the best-of-the-best food days!

I told the nice young man he could keep his spheres; we were going outside to get our free banana splits!

Amazon's Community Banana Standin the center of the ever-growing Amazon corporate campuswas established in 2015 and gives away 1.7 million bananas annually as a way to promote eating a healthy food packaged in its own biodegradable container. 1.7 million... now that's a bunch of bananas. Actually, did you know a bunch of bananas is called a hand and each banana is known as a finger? It's true!

Anyway, this banana stand has GOT to be costing Amazon a fortune!

Let's do the math, shall we?

What's the cost of a banana?

  • Both Amazon and Office Depot, yes... Office Depot, will deliver bananas to your doorstep, but they're not cheap... about $1.00 per banana.
  • At milkandeggs.com, you can order Dole organic bananas priced individually at $0.36.
  • But at Fred Meyer, you can order them online for store pickup for just $0.30 each.

Going with Freddy's pricing, Amazon's annual banana expense is $510,000.

That sounds like a lot of hard earned corporate cash, but in 2017 the net worth of Amazon's CEO, Jeff Bezos, increased $107,000,000 per day, or about $74,000 per minute. So, Jeff paid for the year's banana expense in just under seven minutes.  

Since the Community Banana Stand's opening in 2015, Bezos' wealth shot from $50 billion to $140 Billion. Coincidence? I don't know about you, but I'm opening a banana stand! Remember, there's always money in the banana stand!





Pony up for the "Free For All" at the Amazon Banana Stand! Rain or shine (or rain because, after all, this is Seattle) the banana stand is always serving up delicious freshly cut fingers!






Here, Amazon's army of Banistas served us banana splits that were delish! It's all smiles at the banana stand... until somebody slips on a peel and puts an eye out!






What is it with food, cell phones, and Instagram? Why has it suddenly become so important to share your food with the entire world? Come on! It's a banana split... in a paper cup... with a plastic spoon! Not exactly a super sexy food photo, now is it?






Here's a SUPER SEXY FOOD PHOTO of my banana split with chocolate and strawberry sauces topped with Oreo crumbles! Note the smooth contours of the paper cup and plastic spoon. I need to get this posted on Instagram right away!


For further fun reading about bananas, take a side trip to learn how many bananas it takes to kill someone. Good times! You're welcome!



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Yellowstone?... How About a Staycation!

Loyal readers may recall last spring's jaunt to Yellowstone National Park with Isabelle, our Swedish exchange student, that just happened to coincide with a blizzard that closed all roads and turned our trip into an extended motel-bound adventure.

We promised our current exchange student, Julia, from Finland, with a snow-free visit to Yellowstone the first week of October. The fall's weather had been perfect, until... the first week of October. The Yellowstone forecast was for cold rain and even colder snow. The Boise forecast wasn't much better. What to do...

Hey! How about a staycation!

Though Julia had been with us for two months, this would be our chance to show her around the Boise area in a way we hadn't beforewith our "staycation hats" on.

What's a staycation hat?

Well, a staycation hata prerequisite for a successful staycationblocks the wearer's brain's abnormal spending pattern (ASP) receptors. In essence, the staycation hat tells the brain, "It's OK... be calm... you're home AND you're on vacation! You only live once. Go ahead. Spend the money... spend the money... spend the money...




You'd never guess by looking at this picture that the first day of our staycation was spent touring Boise in the rain. The second day's blue skies were perfect for a day trip to Redfish Lake. Pictured here: The Payette River canyon along Highway 17.





When it comes to successfully taking selfies, we leave it to the kids! Julia executed this dockside selfie at Redfish Lake with ease. Lilly, the Wonder Dog, continues to struggle with the concept of posing for pictures of any type. Though she's cute, Lilly's brain is very small.





Julia and Lilly, the Wonder Dog, in the aspen grove on the Marshall Lake trail. Note Lilly sporting her best doggy vest. Yep! She's a dog that wears clothes!





Day three of the staycation took us to the World Center for Birds of Prey, just south of Boise. Hourly tours present examples of the Center's worldwide efforts to protect birds of prey. Pictured here, the guide holds an owl to demonstrate how they move. Did you know an owl's head can rotate up to 270 degrees? It's true! What a hoot!

Do you know what's missing in this picture?

Lilly, the Wonder Dog!

Hey! Here's a good one: How many people are in this photo?






With talons that can be as large as a bear's claws and legs almost as thick as a man’s wrist, it's no wonder sloths and small deer are on a Harpy eagle's dinner menu. The harpy is named after a mythological creature that had the face of a woman and the body of a bird. The face of a woman?

Ummm... I don't see it.



But if I squint my eyes really, really hard...













                                 Image credit goes to the Mythical Creatures site.


Ah! OK, NOW I see it!
 


We were impressed with the Center and decided to become members. You should too... or simply donate by the end of the year. They've got a lot of good things going on, like working to save bird habitat. By saving bird habitat, you also help curb climate change. Hmmm... as it turns out, there are ways to make change happen!

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Any good staycation includes authentic local food. And nothing says "Idaho" like the Irish cuisine offered at Sully's Pub & Grill in Star, Idaho, just west of Boise. Sully's delivers a touch of Ireland with its food, beer, and whiskey. We like Sully's, though they'd do well to play some Irish music and use a few of their many TV monitors for Irish sports like Gaelic football, hurling, and camogie. And to taste their best Irish fare, arrive after 5:00 when the Shepherd's Meatball Pie, Guiness Meatloaf, and Bangers and Mash are served.





What do Natalie and I not do almost ever, anywhere? Attend sporting events! Throwing caution to the wind (and with the offer of free tickets), we went to an Idaho Steelhead's hockey game! What a funny sport...






Here's one example of the funny side of hockey. From time to time, two players from opposite teams would remove their gloves and start hugging each other quite vigorously. All play stopped and the crowd cheered with great enthusiasm! This exchange of sporting love climaxed when the two players fell to the ice in their embrace. They were soon joined by the men wearing striped shirts. The crowd booed when the striped-shirt men started to participate. I'm with the crowd on this one... that's not natural.






How to conclude a staycation? How about a hike in the Boise foothills on a trail that starts from your neighborhood! Pictured here, Julia and Natalie (and Lilly, the Wonder Dog) move along Spring Creek trail.


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And How About One More Musical! Why Not?

Boise State University's production of The Great American Trailer Park Musical was a blast to play! At its heart, it's a love story, but it pokes fun at many aspects of redneck-living stereotypes. It was a super fun show with a talented cast and crew. What a great way to top off a summer, and fall, of drumming!



My view from the stage of The Great American Trailer Park Musical. Being on stage meant the bandin costumebecame a true part of the performance. It's a fun way to play a show.






The Great American Trailer Park Musical Band! Feeling right at home at the Armadillo Acres Trailer Park in Starke, Florida, from left to right, are Shayla Lewis (bass), Moi (drums), Thomas Paul (guitar) and Chad Spears (keyboards). 

We rocked the costumes. Right?



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And with that, 2018's TourAlongs are complete! It's been a good year and I wouldn't change a thing.

No... wait! 

I'd take Jeff Bezos' one-day earnings... and I'd gladly pay for the bananas!

Yes, that's the thing I'd change.


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What's on tap for 2019? We've got ideas, so be ready! It won't be long before it's time to saddle up again for more TourAlongs!


Until then... Happy Holidays! Ciao!


Editors note: Though wildly over used, none of the 79 exclamation points in this blog post were harmed during its composition!!!

__________________________________________________



Like the TourAlongWithTodd blog and want to keep up to date? Here are three easy options!
  • Email me at toddchavez4@gmail.com and I’ll add you to my distribution list or…
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And the Beat Goes On!


There’s No Rest for the Wicked

The Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! of Mamma Mia!’s closing night’s performance was still reverberating out at the theater when the Beehive musicians assembled for their run of band-only rehearsals, followed in rapid succession by tech week and the show's opening weekend.

And with that, the pace of this summer’s TourAlongAtHomeTour was kicked into overdrive.

Performing 28 nights in the pit for Mamma Mia! during the Idaho Shakespeare Festival’s (ISF) repertory season meant we played a couple of nights here, a couple of nights there, but never more than three nights in a row. Performing for Beehive-The 60s Musical, the September show, is different. We perform every night of the week with the exception of Mondays, when theaters are “dark.” This condensed schedule makes touring at home much more like touring on the road because road touring implies a certain routine: Wake up, eat, drive, set up, eat, perform, tear down, sleep, rinse and repeat, day after day. The performing part lasts 30 minutes if you’re the opening act, or 90 minutes if you’re the main act. The routine can become numbing, so it’s a really good idea to like the performing part of it!

A Musical in Sync with Our Times

ISF’s production of Beehive features a cast of six crazy-talented actor-singers delivering a celebration of the women who made our music—women like Aretha Franklin, Tina Turner, and Janis Joplin and many more. Underlying this musical revue is the rise of the women’s movement in the 60s and 70s. And, though created in 1985, Beehive's message is right in sync with our times—more than three decades later—when women are at the forefront of change once again. And that’s good!



The cast of Beehive laying it down! From left to right: Christiana Perrault, Hannah-Jo Weisberg, Adrianna Cleveland, Camille Robinson, Annalise Griswold, and Shelby Griswold. Photo courtesy of ISF, DKM Photography.


The show clips along at a furious pace, pausing occasionally for dialog to set the next scene—and to let the actors catch their breath. I’ve been told that the choreography and costumes are something to see too, but from my view behind the drum kit—in the pit under the stage—I can only imagine the experience the audience soaks in. Just once, when Janice Joplin takes the stage near the end of the show, do I get a glimpse of actor Shelby Griswold performing Me and Bobbie McGee. I also get to see the audience’s reaction. Janice/Shelby crushes it!



Music Director Charlie Ray warming up for the show! Charlie and I share the same birthday! Well OK, the same day, but not in the same century. If only I had had the same degree of competence and direction at his age! Get this: Charlie's still a student at Baldwin Wallace University. Clearly, BW has something good going on!




Did I Mention a Drum Kit? I Did!

Loyal readers may recall that I played an electronic drum kit for Mamma Mia! and that I mentioned it was a wee bit challenging to play. Put it like this: Imagine riding a bike with deflated tires. You get where you need to go, but it’s not as much fun getting there. So it was a relief to be back behind a set of acoustic drums with their wide range of sounds and dynamics back in my toolbox—along with nine microphones strategically placed to bring the kit’s sound to the audience.

As a side note, I haven’t asked the rest of the Beehive band how much they like the volume of my rock drumming in an enclosed space. I think if I did ask them, I would pose it as a survey question… like this!

How much do you like the volume of Todd’s rock drumming?

A. I like it! The volume is just right!
B. He can play as loud as he wants. I can’t get enough of it! He’s awesome!
C. WHAT? CAN YOU TALK LOUDER? MY EARS!! THE DAMN DRUMMER!!!


Well, I don’t really need to ask the question. The answer is clearly B.



Home Sweet Home! A real drum kit with drums and cymbals! Everything needed to make A LOT of sound! The dishcloth taped to the head of the snare drum dampens the drum's sound. Did I mention IT'S LOUD in the pit? I could play softly...  but soft rock-n-roll? That's crazy talk!





Rinse and Repeat

Every musical’s band is tailored for the show. For Beehive, five musicians and a drummer produce a powerful ensemble sound. Playing nightly accomplishes something really important—we get tight, fast, and it’s sooooo satisfying. And that brings me back to the routine of touring…

The rinse and repeat of playing Beehive goes something like this: Wake up, have coffee, work my day job editing documents, pack dinner, and drive to the Y at 5:00 to work out. Arrive at theater no later than 7:00 to warm up. Start the show promptly at 7:30 and end at 9:05 (95 minutes, including intermission). Drive home, have a beer while watching an episode of Better Call Saul, sleep, rinse and repeat. And don’t forget to eat your vegetables! Getting sick on tour is a poor choice. Feel a flu coming on? I’m sorry to hear that! See you at 7:00 for the show, and bring a bucket!

Did you notice I mentioned the length of the show with confident precision? Here’s a little-known theater factoid for you: The length of a show is set by the director during the rehearsal process. Once a show opens, the director is no longer present. The production is now under the full control of the stage manager, who records each performance’s length. If a show begins to vary by more than a minute, long or short, it’s a sign that something’s off and needs to be brought back in line. This is one way the stage manager ensures the integrity of the show remains consistent with the director’s vision and direction.




The Beehive band dressed for success in rock-n-roll black! From left to right: Charlie Ray, music director and keyboards; Matt Short, saxophone; Shayla Lewis, bass guitar; moi, a drummer who plays loudly; Esteban Anastasio, electric guitar; and Joe Johnson, trumpet AND tambourine!



The Beehive band's favorite pastime at intermission? Working through decks of Trivial Pursuit cards. We absolutely suck at the Lord of the Rings deck. Gandalf or Aragorn are NOT always the answer!


All Good Things Come to an End

So there you have it. A week from today Beehive—and this summer’s TourAlong—will be in the bag. Between Mamma Mia! and Beehive—from late June to the end of September, including rehearsals and performances—I’ve been “on the road” 62 nights.

Inevitably, while playing the last tune of the final performance, a melancholy knocks on my door announcing that something so fun, and so challenging, is ending; every show gets under my skin.

Once you’ve caught the touring bug, it never goes away. It’s an itch that needs a good scratch now and then. Thanks so much to the Idaho Shakespeare Festival for taking care of my itch this summer!

Coming up? Unexpected 2018 summer travel experiences and Jellystone National Park in fall!

Until next time… Make Your Own Kind of Music! Ciao!


___________________________________________________________________________

Like the TourAlongWithTodd blog and want to keep up to date? Here are three easy options!
  • Email me at toddchavez4@gmail.com and I’ll add you to my distribution list or…
  • Enter your email address in the Follow by Email box on the right at the top of this page and follow the simple verification process. This method delivers the blog directly to your inbox.
  • If you have a Blogger account, add my blog to your Blogger Reading List

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